Webinar Replay: Lean Into Yourself: A Woman's Mental Health Hacking Guide
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Rachael Sampson: Hello, everyone, and welcome. I'm Rachel Sampson, National Director of Key for Women and Head of Community Banking at KeyBank, and I'm thrilled to have you with us today.
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Rachael Sampson: In a world that constantly asks us to give more, do more, be more, setting aside time for your own well-being is both important and powerful.
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Rachael Sampson: As we gather today, we're focusing on a topic that affects all of us in one way or another, mental health.
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Rachael Sampson: According to the National Institute of Mental Health, more than 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience a mental illness each year, and women are disproportionately impacted.
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Rachael Sampson: Women are often balancing the demands of work, leadership, caregiving, family responsibilities, and countless expectations, many of which can go unseen by those around us.
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Rachael Sampson: Mental health also plays a significant role in our overall success and well-being. It influences how we make decisions, navigate challenges, build relationships.
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Rachael Sampson: pursue our goals, and even manage our financial lives. When we are at our best mentally and emotionally, we're better equipped to thrive personally, professionally, and financially.
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Rachael Sampson: Yet, despite growing awareness, many women continue to carry invisible burdens. We hear phrases like, doing it all, having it all together, or perhaps my personal favorite.
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Rachael Sampson: I'm fine. But often beneath that simple word lies stress.
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Rachael Sampson: Exhaustion, self-doubt, and the pressure of trying to meet everyone's expectations while putting our needs last.
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Rachael Sampson: We spend so much of our time focused on caring for others, meeting expectations, and achieving results.
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Rachael Sampson: But today's conversation is a reminder that investing, yes, this is an investment. Investing in ourselves is not selfish, it's essential.
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Rachael Sampson: When we make our well-being a priority, we can strengthen our ability to lead, connect, grow, and thrive in every area of our lives. Our guest speaker brings a truly unique perspective to this topic.
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Rachael Sampson: She's built an extraordinary career at the intersection of science, innovation, entrepreneurship, and purpose-driven leadership.
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Rachael Sampson: Dr. Sharu Ramanathan is a serial entrepreneur, inventor, and CEO whose journey includes co-founding CardioInsight, a pioneering cardiac imaging company that was acquired by Medtronic.
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Rachael Sampson: Today, she serves as co-founder and CEO of Vital Exchange, a global AI platform supporting development and behavioral health
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Rachael Sampson: as she leaves Lokiata, a fintech company focused on expanding equitable access to credit, beyond her professional accomplishment.
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Rachael Sampson: Sharu is a mother, mentor, advisor, and advocate who is passionate about helping others to unlock their full potential.
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Rachael Sampson: What makes Sharu's message especially compelling is that it's grounded not only in professional achievement, but it's also in personal experience.
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Rachael Sampson: Drawing from her own journey as a scientist, entrepreneur, CEO, and mother, she combines lived experience with a deep understanding of biology and human behavior to help us better understand ourselves.
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Rachael Sampson: and the forces that shape our lives.
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Rachael Sampson: Today, Sharu will introduce us to her framework for becoming fine.
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Rachael Sampson: F, feeling your biology. I, identifying the invisible.
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Rachael Sampson: N, navigate your biology, roles, and expectations. And finally, E, emerge unapologetically. Through this framework, she'll share science-backed strategies to help us better understand ourselves, embrace our strengths, and move forward with greater confidence and authenticity.
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Rachael Sampson: Whether you're a business owner, professional, executive, caregiver, parent, mentor, or someone simply looking to create more balance in your life, I believe you'll leave today's session with meaningful insights and practical takeaways you can put into practice right away.
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Rachael Sampson: So, thank you all for joining. Please use the chat to connect with each other, to talk with us. We will be taking your questions. Sharu will take them as we are going through our presentation today, and of course, you can enter them into the chat, and we'll get to as many at the end as possible. So, thank you for being here.
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Rachael Sampson: Sharuth, I appreciate you being here. Please, if you're out there, take it away.
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Charu Ramanathan: Hello, everyone. I think, Rachel, that was such a wonderful intro. I think my job is done. Everybody can go and have some lunch.
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Charu Ramanathan: Anyway, I am, like, I'm very excited to share my journey and sort of my own research on this topic.
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Charu Ramanathan: Because I have many informed perspectives, or even casual perspectives, at the intersection of science, feminism, being an immigrant, and transplanting to the United States. So, so many perspectives, and yet my own intrinsic
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Charu Ramanathan: biology that shapes me as the person I am and as a woman I am.
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Charu Ramanathan: So as Rachel mentioned, I have two children. They both graduated this year, one with a graduate degree and the other one with an undergraduate degree. Yay, no more college tuitions.
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Charu Ramanathan: And, you know, I've been a serial entrepreneur all my life, you know, creating tech-driven startups that actually have impact. So I always pick applications that can either improve, in Vital Exchange's case, families of children with disabilities.
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Charu Ramanathan: Or developmental challenges.
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Charu Ramanathan: Cardioinsight, non-invasively detected heart disease, and, Lokiata, which, is a,
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Charu Ramanathan: AI-driven credit scoring platform. And I also do a little bit of dabbling. I'm an advisor and investor in technology startups, and I serve on, you know, philanthropic boards, you know, and as you can see, there's a quest here
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Charu Ramanathan: for purpose, finding meaning in, you know, the gifts I've been given and the opportunities I've been given. So that, I will weave in a lot of that concept throughout my presentation today on how reframing that, recalibrating on that purpose has really helped my mental health journey.
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Charu Ramanathan: So…
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Charu Ramanathan: What do I know? I'm not a therapist and I'm not a psychologist, so I really want to put that out there in terms of the strategies and the tactics are very anecdotal. Most of it's informed by my research, which is really a personal interest. At some point, I would like to write a book.
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Charu Ramanathan: On this topic, because, this is a question that comes up in pretty much most
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Charu Ramanathan: rounds in most social settings, especially after a couple glasses of wine. We always talk about this aspect.
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Charu Ramanathan: And I, like I said, I've got perspectives from living in India, transitioning to the United States, traveling a lot for my work, meeting people from different cultures.
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Charu Ramanathan: in a professional setting to begin with, and forming alliances and friendships there. And then I've gone through quite a few life stages in terms of marriage, pregnancy, motherhood, adolescence.
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Charu Ramanathan: menopause, caregiving, and through my entrepreneurship, which has been a very challenging but fulfilling journey, you know, I've learned lessons along the way.
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Charu Ramanathan: And the framework that I follow, and I continue to evolve, is based on evolutionary biology, or DNA, what we are tuned to become, and the intersection of that with civilization, tradition, and modern society, and its demands of us.
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Charu Ramanathan: And, feminism, which is our continued fight for equal rights and agency, and how that translates into, you know.
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Charu Ramanathan: really impact on our health and well-being and what can we take away from our evolutionary biology and that gap to be able to make our health and well-being.
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Charu Ramanathan: you know, more under our control. So evolution shaped our biology.
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Charu Ramanathan: Modernization…
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Rachael Sampson: Sorry, Sheryl, if you're sharing, we can't see it.
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Charu Ramanathan: Oh.
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Charu Ramanathan: I'm sorry.
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Rachael Sampson: No.
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Charu Ramanathan: Talking to myself.
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Rachael Sampson: And while you're doing that, I think it's something interesting too, as we talk about, you just mentioned, you know, you're hearing it more in social circles. Do you feel like that?
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Rachael Sampson: you know, mental health has gotten worse, or do you feel like we're just talking about it more? Because it seems to be an interesting conversation, and it looks like in the chat, too, you know, people are really excited about the program and hearing about it. I'd love to get your perspective as you're pulling that up to see, like, what your thoughts are.
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Charu Ramanathan: Yeah, no, this is a conversation I have with my mom a lot because generationally, you know, the, you know, is this new? Is it worse now? I think it's both.
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Charu Ramanathan: You know, I feel like the social structure is disrupted. The social networks that I had growing up is not what my daughter has.
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Charu Ramanathan: There's a lot more, you know, people didn't just, you know, suck up and suffer it on their own. There's, you know, people have much more demands on their lives. I do believe that today we're accomplishing a lot more in our daily day than, you know, previously was possible. So there's all of these things and, you know, increased community ability to communicate.
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Charu Ramanathan: to be at different places. I mean, this Zoom call allows
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Charu Ramanathan: me to be in conversations with hundreds of people. All of that is great, but it's also creating some expectations of our psyche and our bodies that our biology hasn't prepared us for. So, that would be my take on it.
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Rachael Sampson: That is interesting, especially when you think about phones, right? You know, to date myself.
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Rachael Sampson: back when we first went to college, we didn't even have cell phones, you know, that was hard to see, but now there's this expectation of always on, answering quickly, read receipts, how fast can you get to things? You know, that's definitely an interesting take, as we think about that always-on mentality, and also
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Rachael Sampson: much more access, I think, to information and people than we've previously had.
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Charu Ramanathan: Mmhm.
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Charu Ramanathan: Can you see my screen now?
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Rachael Sampson: I can.
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Charu Ramanathan: Okay, so I think, so this was the slide I was on.
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Charu Ramanathan: Okay, so evolution shaped our biology. Modernization reshaped our lives. Learning how to fix that gap is really key to thriving at life and work. And I'll dive into what I mean, you know, along the way.
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Charu Ramanathan: So that gap, as you mentioned, Rachel, I really came up with this acronym, because I love acronyms, because we can remember things by those. So, and it's also the popular internet meme, like, I'm fine, you know, I'm fine, I'm fine, when people, when you answer that.
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Charu Ramanathan: Like, how… what does FIND really mean? Is really understanding your biology, understanding the roles you play, and the invisible load that's on your shoulders, and then navigating those, and then using that to really build your confidence, and… and not apologize. Like, you can't…
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Charu Ramanathan: fix the past. What you can do is understand, recalibrate, and move forward for the future. So that's essentially what I mean by emerge unapologetically. And it's also really important that this is not a one and done. It's not like, okay, I did all the work, and now I'm like a superhuman. No, it's something that will constantly get out of sync. So, for example, in Cleveland, where we have very little sunshine.
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Charu Ramanathan: You know, several days of the year, you, you start to feel that seasonal affective, you start to feel, kind of.
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Charu Ramanathan: blue, and you have to do more recalibration in the winter months than in the summer months.
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Charu Ramanathan: And that is, essentially, there are so many studies showing how your… the sunlight and your circadian rhythm, your internal clock, are affected. And so, it's not a magic, and it's not new. These are things that…
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Charu Ramanathan: We in our, you know, forest setting were able to do intuitively that modernization has taken it out, and now we're bringing that back.
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Charu Ramanathan: Okay, so this is a pretty complex slide. I showed this to my daughter and she said, this is so busy. I'm like, well, this is my jam. I have to share this. So back when we were primates, we were roaming in the forest.
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Charu Ramanathan: You know, stress, our, our system was optimized.
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Charu Ramanathan: evolved for that. So, we have two kinds of systems. We have a stress response system that literally works acutely to give you incredible Hulk powers for a very short amount of time, and then you go back to normal, and you reset.
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Charu Ramanathan: And when does that happen?
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Charu Ramanathan: Hey, your baby's in danger, or you're in a hunt mode that you're really, you know, hunting something that you need to have speed, or you're in imminent danger and you're running away from that danger. Those are the times when your heart rate goes up, your mitochondria are active, your blood circulation is really fast, and you are powered for that success.
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Charu Ramanathan: But the problem with that is prolonged
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Charu Ramanathan: If you stay like that for a long time, then you're gonna burn out, like, your car revving the engine is going to get burned out. So, spike and reset was how evolutionary biology set us up.
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Charu Ramanathan: But modern life never lets us reset. So this simulated graph, kind of the blue curve, is how our ancestors said they would get this adrenergic response and then kind of sleep it off, kind of chill, you know, and live their lives.
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Charu Ramanathan: Whereas for us, we're constantly deadlines, we looked over for a promotion, we had an altercation with a spouse, the kid is sick, the car had a punctured tire, you have problems with your coworker and your caregiver, your mom suddenly got diagnosed with dementia, this constant onslaught of problems.
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Charu Ramanathan: And what happens in that situation is that reset does not happen.
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Charu Ramanathan: Well, and that also, in turn, affects your sleep. You don't eat really properly. You don't really have time for anything. And you start to, you know, get in that very stress response for a long time, and you never come back to baseline that climbs and climbs and climbs.
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Charu Ramanathan: till it gets to a dangerous level where structural changes in the brain happen.
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Charu Ramanathan: And so modern stresses hit frequently. Stress response doesn't go back to baseline. Brain reshapes itself. We call it a neurological response. And then we become more reactive. We snap at others. We make bad judgments.
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Charu Ramanathan: we become mindless, we start getting nervous, and that means when new stressors come, guess what happens? You get even more stress. And this vicious cycle
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Charu Ramanathan: Really, really starts to become very, very detrimental and it's very hard to get out of this cycle. That's when, you know, people hopefully seek therapy, are able to get the support they need. But understanding this mechanism is really, really, really important because when you are in this box.
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Charu Ramanathan: You have lost rational thought. You're not saying this is, you're, you don't, you're not in control. Your, your, your brain is telling your body, hey, the neurohormonal system has told me you're in imminent danger and you're gonna react like you're gonna be chased by a lion. So this is something psychologists call as a neurological state. And we have to be very aware that once you reach that state.
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Charu Ramanathan: Things… things are reversible, but you're gonna need help.
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Charu Ramanathan: So that's really big point in in failure biology.
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Rachael Sampson: Yes, so how do you recommend we identify that, right? You know, I think about… we talk a lot about sleep, especially getting up in the middle of the night. Your body, you know, is it illness? Is it hormones? Is it stress? Is it all of the above? Like, how do we… how should we think about that?
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Charu Ramanathan: So, the first sign, at least I can speak from personal experiences, is I become impatient.
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Charu Ramanathan: I have a nervous energy about me where I can't wait for somebody to finish a sentence, or I am like, unreasonable. Like, why are you asking me that question? And you start realizing, and you feel uncomfortable about yourself because you are being very snappy with people, and you realize that your mental capacity to handle additional instructions, additional queries and questions starts to go away. And that's the point. What I do.
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Charu Ramanathan: I have a thing. I'm good. I'm good for no one.
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Charu Ramanathan: So I'm gonna go, and I'm gonna sit in a room, watch some TV, or do some breathing, or, you know…
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Charu Ramanathan: have a glass of wine, something to self-regulate. And this is very important, because, in a very overstimulated world, you know.
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Charu Ramanathan: It's very hard for us to find
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Charu Ramanathan: Recognize that, and then find the gap to go fix yourself. Right, right.
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Rachael Sampson: Because patience is definitely a gift.
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Charu Ramanathan: Yes, it is. Having it.
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Charu Ramanathan: Absolute.
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Charu Ramanathan: Absolutely. I do, you know, I do do some breathing and things like that. As I get older, I get into these states much more frequently, you know, walking in nature. I get into some of the strategies a little bit later, but, I'm pretty sure all of us have recognized those signs.
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Charu Ramanathan: And I will say those are not normal. It's not your personality, because keep in mind that human beings are not…
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Charu Ramanathan: fast, we're not the best climbers, we're not, you know, the most strongest in the wild. What kept us alive and really top of the food chain is our ability to collaborate.
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Charu Ramanathan: Okay? So if you are in a snappy mood and nobody wants to work with you, do you think that's conducive to our survival instinct? It's not. Okay.
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Charu Ramanathan: So that's how you know that's a signal that your body is telling you that you have no capacity to deal with anything more.
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Charu Ramanathan: And, and do not re relax on your phone, which I do. I'm guilty of it, but you know, no, don't.
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Rachael Sampson: Scrolling.
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Charu Ramanathan: No doom scrolling. So.
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Rachael Sampson: Oh.
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Charu Ramanathan: All right, so the next part of it, which is really specific to women, is women are not smaller men. And when you look at all the biology and literature out there, 90% of the literature is about stress response in men.
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Charu Ramanathan: Men are testosterone-driven. Their stress response is optimized to their roles as hunters. Men have had much shorter lifespans than women.
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Charu Ramanathan: Women have very different bodies because we have been gifted with the ability to create.
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Charu Ramanathan: Whether you choose to have a baby or become a mother or not, you still have the ability to create. So your neurohormonal system, every month, runs on the cycle, and in a lifespan, runs through those transitions, from puberty to fertility, fertility, fertile years.
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Charu Ramanathan: to menopausal transitions. And now there's more evidence that show that your ovaries
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Charu Ramanathan: in menopause really start to become more immunological organs, because grandmothers have to live longer to be able to support the ecosystem of infants and mothers, because that's how human biology shaped us. So it's not a surprise that
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Charu Ramanathan: you know, you know, when you go to an elder care home, there are more women than men, because women's life expectancies are higher. So when you take all of those things, the hormonal shift week to week, and again, across those major changes, and that each shift
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Charu Ramanathan: is known to change not only your brain ability, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, your mood, your energy. Also, it changes brain structure. So, a recent study showed that women that have become mothers after having babies tend to have shrinking gray matter and more white matter.
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Charu Ramanathan: And part of that aspect is the ability to appraise a situation and be able to become better nurturers. So I can say that many, many times having two children, I can actually feel that one of my kids is in trouble or something's not working out, and I'll pick up the phone and I'll call and I'll find them in like.
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Charu Ramanathan: tears or in, like, needing help. So how do I know that, right? So that is something that's my gift as a mother, and you don't have to be a mother to do that, but now we're starting to see that there are several things in the human
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Charu Ramanathan: biology that has that. The second thing that's fascinating that came out now is that the baby's cells migrate within the mother's body, and what does that really mean to have bits and pieces of your child's DNA, right? So, I'm fascinated by it, because in modern world, we ignore all that.
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Charu Ramanathan: We have social and traditional norms by which we live life that completely ignore
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Charu Ramanathan: Biology, which to me comes first. Religion and tradition comes way after. It's more hundreds of years versus thousands of years. So that's the missing gap that I'm very fascinated by.
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Charu Ramanathan: And definitely your monthly cycles have played a role. If you want to write a book or, you know, do a difficult… you're solving a difficult problem, do it around your ovulation, because that could be fabulous. And towards the end of the cycle.
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Charu Ramanathan: Take a vacation, right?
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Charu Ramanathan: So…
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Rachael Sampson: And celebrate. But I think that's such an interesting point that I didn't think about or even the DNA portion. I don't know if anybody else is with me, but I definitely didn't know that. But I always say all the time, the intuition, a mother's intuition, or I think sometimes when I sleep at night, if I hear the smallest noise, I wake up like.
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Rachael Sampson: you know, even when the kids were babies, and they, you know, they're trying to take me out every day now, so that probably leads into some of that, but no, I think that's so interesting. So how do we think about… we've got these
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Rachael Sampson: Hormones that are happening that definitely is impacting us every day, like when we're thinking about it in these work environments.
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Rachael Sampson: like, how do we cope with all of those changes, to your point, that this is happening at this time of the month, and this is happening then? Like, what recommendations do you have in terms of
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Rachael Sampson: Just the amount of hormones, biology, stressors that's happening to.
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Rachael Sampson: really think about this in a different way. And also.
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Charu Ramanathan: Yeah.
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Rachael Sampson: Be okay with it, you know what I mean?
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Charu Ramanathan: Yeah, so I think, you know, and this is something…
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Charu Ramanathan: that's very interesting, because if you look at the normal workplace, it's centered around how men work, and there's… there's no, like, there's no cycles. And obviously, there are… there is some research that shows that women's cycles sync up.
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Charu Ramanathan: And there's some contradictions on that as well. But for ourselves, the first thing I would say is don't be embarrassed. Like, you know, 50% of the world has periods.
00:24:23.220 --> 00:24:44.820
Charu Ramanathan: So why are we embarrassed to talk about it? That's something created by the social setting, right? Oh, you're so embarrassed, like, you know, you're sick, you need to be sequestered, or we need to be embarrassed. Everybody knows it. The more we normalize it, the more it becomes pretty common. I honestly, in my, you know, in my experience, I haven't found a single male colleague
00:24:44.820 --> 00:24:53.570
Charu Ramanathan: Unwilling to support or be like, ugh, you know, like, what are you talking about? You're making me uncomfortable. They're like, Hey, take your time, do what you need to do. So.
00:24:53.570 --> 00:24:54.100
Rachael Sampson: The paper.
00:24:54.100 --> 00:24:54.530
Charu Ramanathan: Be honest.
00:24:54.530 --> 00:24:56.710
Rachael Sampson: I don't want to know anything about this.
00:24:56.710 --> 00:25:12.959
Charu Ramanathan: Do what you need to do, just go away, you know? So, I think this is really important, is that we accept this as a… not only a very common thing that happens to half of us, but also, it's the thing that empowers us to do the most important function.
00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:28.080
Charu Ramanathan: Which is reproduction. Whether you choose to be a mother or not, we are… this is the job that we've been given by nature. So this is what helps us embrace that. And that kind of gives you some power, right? To think about it that way. So, that's first point.
00:25:28.290 --> 00:25:43.130
Charu Ramanathan: The second point is, I think, you know, I'm applying this very actively in my life, is when I feel really tired, my feet are swollen, my hips are hurting, and it's that time of the month, and I'm good for nothing, I'm just gonna go and
00:25:43.220 --> 00:25:48.470
Charu Ramanathan: you know, take care of myself, because I know when I come out of it, I'm gonna be a beast.
00:25:49.310 --> 00:26:03.769
Charu Ramanathan: and I'm okay to tell people that that's how it's gonna be. Now, when there are deadlines and stuff, it's hard to work around, but I just think that fighting it is going to make life more complicated, to the extent
00:26:03.770 --> 00:26:12.240
Charu Ramanathan: that you can align your productivity to your shifts in that. Keep in mind that ours is not a steady line. There is a huge peak.
00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:24.359
Charu Ramanathan: And then there is a trough as well. So as long as you're able to leverage that, I think it's going to be something new that we don't really apply consistently, and there's going to be good benefits to that.
00:26:29.180 --> 00:26:30.100
Charu Ramanathan: Okay.
00:26:30.530 --> 00:26:48.280
Charu Ramanathan: So, I'm very… this is my favorite slide, and… and that is, we are born team players. When you look at what we call it the dose system, which is the dopamine, these are all the happiness hormones, the good… the feeling good hormones. Dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins.
00:26:48.280 --> 00:26:54.600
Charu Ramanathan: They are, almost all of them, the common mechanism is Social interactions.
00:26:54.730 --> 00:26:58.500
Charu Ramanathan: Hugging, touching, feeling good.
00:26:58.710 --> 00:27:08.399
Charu Ramanathan: feeling of belonging, sense of belonging. They are all fostered by teamwork, and they are especially pronounced in females.
00:27:08.700 --> 00:27:15.839
Charu Ramanathan: Again, females are not physically stronger, so we have to band together to protect ourselves.
00:27:16.010 --> 00:27:27.360
Charu Ramanathan: Generationally held together, taking care of our babies, our adolescents, our young girls, our… it's a society, it's a social setup, and the hormonal structure shows that.
00:27:27.670 --> 00:27:46.740
Charu Ramanathan: In today's isolated world where, you know, we're living in houses and apartments under a nuclear family system, this is one of the biggest things that have taken a beating that makes us feel isolated, and it actually actively removes our built-in defense against stress.
00:27:46.910 --> 00:28:01.239
Charu Ramanathan: So, it's really important that our survival, women's survival, depends on the tribe. And if we… the more isolated we feel, the more, you know, disconnected
00:28:01.320 --> 00:28:08.020
Charu Ramanathan: and higher stress that we feel. So it's really, really important that we feel that, that
00:28:08.070 --> 00:28:23.299
Charu Ramanathan: We don't need a lot, you know, just feel like you are able, you're able to connect with other people. It could be, you know, we'll get into some of the strategies also, but, but isolation is, is really the biggest, I'd say risk for women.
00:28:28.090 --> 00:28:29.110
Charu Ramanathan: Any questions?
00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:35.369
Rachael Sampson: No, I think we're good. We're interested to know about I and some of these strategies.
00:28:35.970 --> 00:29:00.689
Charu Ramanathan: So AI is really a tough one, because women are constantly pouring into everyone, the family, the team, the community. We're mothers, we're sisters, we're caregivers, we're daughters. And a lion's share of parenting, caregiving, and family responsibilities still fall on women. It's not just the workload. And I've interviewed so many women on this, and Vital Exchange being a parenting platform, the number one thing women say is that
00:29:00.690 --> 00:29:21.430
Charu Ramanathan: decision fatigue. Like, why am I in charge? Why do I have to decide what is lunch? What is breakfast? You know, is today, you know, physical activity day? Today is today, you know, tennis day. You know, why, why am I the one putting a schedule on the table and why am I delegating this to you? Even very successful business leader.
00:29:21.430 --> 00:29:30.110
Charu Ramanathan: fathers, when it comes… when they come to home, they just rely on their wives to just manage everything. And this constant decision fatigue
00:29:30.110 --> 00:29:41.579
Charu Ramanathan: really robs women of the capacity to show up in other things in their life that interest them. And then, you know, getting a maid or a nanny, it helps.
00:29:41.660 --> 00:30:03.070
Charu Ramanathan: But it does not eliminate stress because you're still in charge and you know that if you don't do it, nobody else will. And then the traditional and social expectations are an entire chapter in itself to examine. It's really hard for women to not feel guilty about assuming these responsibilities.
00:30:03.070 --> 00:30:05.589
Charu Ramanathan: And, and, you know.
00:30:06.260 --> 00:30:23.269
Charu Ramanathan: there can be no reward system. That's the other part of it. My mother and I talk about this all the time. You see a guy walking, you know, strolling his baby, and everyone's like, oh, he's such a great father. Hey, there's, like, five women behind him that get nothing, you know? So, so I…
00:30:23.270 --> 00:30:23.780
Rachael Sampson: Thanks!
00:30:23.780 --> 00:30:32.669
Charu Ramanathan: You know, so I think that's… that's sort of… these are quotes from people… from women I've heard, if I don't do it, it won't get done, the planning, the scheduling, the
00:30:32.670 --> 00:30:45.500
Charu Ramanathan: Well, you know, I catch a cold and it's chaos. The guilt, if things falls apart, it consumes me. And like, and this particular quote is from a mother that has three children, two on the autism spectrum and one with mental health issues.
00:30:45.500 --> 00:30:49.289
Charu Ramanathan: And her constant fear is she can't go to sleep.
00:30:49.700 --> 00:30:50.150
Rachael Sampson: Literally.
00:30:50.150 --> 00:31:09.260
Charu Ramanathan: like, if something happens to me, what will happen to my family? And then the age-old conundrum of choice, a woman that wants to have an independent career and wants to also, you know, have a successful family life, many of them had to choose, and they chose their kids because, you know, obviously, that's…
00:31:09.260 --> 00:31:16.110
Charu Ramanathan: that's the wise choice then, but because of lack of support. So, women are wired to nurture.
00:31:16.110 --> 00:31:18.850
Charu Ramanathan: But modern world has exploited that.
00:31:18.850 --> 00:31:27.999
Charu Ramanathan: versus scaffolded with support. And one great example that I'll mention that came because when my daughter was young, she
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:44.560
Charu Ramanathan: She was really good in math and science. And I said, oh, you know, it's great because there's so less girls in STEM that you're perfect for STEM. And she said, I don't want to do any science subjects. And I said, why not?
00:31:44.560 --> 00:31:57.180
Charu Ramanathan: the, you know, this is something the whole country is pushing for more girls in STEM. And she said, just because I'm not good at… I'm good at it doesn't mean I want to do it. I want to have a choice, and I choose not to go to STEM.
00:31:57.190 --> 00:32:01.450
Charu Ramanathan: And so this was something very important that I understood is.
00:32:01.460 --> 00:32:19.879
Charu Ramanathan: Then I started diving into girls in STEM, you know, really, is that the right push? Or is it like, let's start to look at it. And then you start to say, well, it's because science professions tend to pay more than other professions. What are those other professions that women go to? Two professions, teaching and nursing.
00:32:19.990 --> 00:32:20.500
Charu Ramanathan: Siggy.
00:32:20.500 --> 00:32:20.890
Rachael Sampson: Mmh.
00:32:20.890 --> 00:32:21.220
Charu Ramanathan: ticket.
00:32:21.220 --> 00:32:21.540
Rachael Sampson: Che.
00:32:22.010 --> 00:32:24.150
Charu Ramanathan: Under. Paid.
00:32:24.390 --> 00:32:41.230
Charu Ramanathan: And, right? And undervalued compared to other professions. So, when you start to see, oh, it's so important, family is so important, nurture is so important, but when rubber hits the road, they are the most underpaid. Honestly speaking, my children
00:32:41.490 --> 00:32:49.690
Charu Ramanathan: were probably influenced more by their teachers than the amenities that I provided for them. And yet.
00:32:49.690 --> 00:32:50.130
Rachael Sampson: I don'.
00:32:50.130 --> 00:32:59.280
Charu Ramanathan: I didn't care if their teachers were, were, you know, supported or paid or anything, right? We just take that for granted. So this is something.
00:32:59.280 --> 00:33:00.809
Rachael Sampson: for me a calling.
00:33:00.810 --> 00:33:02.560
Charu Ramanathan: It is a calling. And so.
00:33:02.560 --> 00:33:03.180
Rachael Sampson: -H.
00:33:03.410 --> 00:33:08.830
Charu Ramanathan: So that's the I part. And the other one is, I am a big fan of this, is…
00:33:09.270 --> 00:33:27.709
Charu Ramanathan: because the theme is invisible is, how can we use the latest technology to surface things that you may not necessarily be aware of? And again, this is a personal choice. Some people are more holistic. They're like, I don't need any indicators. Obviously, indicators could be alarming. But
00:33:27.710 --> 00:33:29.800
Charu Ramanathan: I have used all of them.
00:33:29.800 --> 00:33:54.509
Charu Ramanathan: And I continue to study because I'm just like a scientist by nature. And this particular curve is, it's funny, I put it up here. This is actually from my ring that shows in May, both my kids graduated and we had to move and do all kinds of things. I also took on as the, you know, the CEO of my company. And so you can see my ring tells me I had pretty high level of stress.
00:33:54.630 --> 00:34:07.780
Charu Ramanathan: In May because of all of these things. And, and so, it sometimes puts things in perspective and it, it, it normalizes, yeah, I was a little stressed. It makes sense. I'm doing better now, you know, type of a thing as well.
00:34:08.150 --> 00:34:18.119
Rachael Sampson: I love that. And you know, one of the questions came in prior to the event today was really around, I think some of this that's invisible as well, is perfectionism.
00:34:18.120 --> 00:34:28.520
Rachael Sampson: And how do we balance that? Because there's that component of always wanting to do things right and being perfect. I think that feeds into some of this as well. How do people really
00:34:28.520 --> 00:34:33.649
Rachael Sampson: deal with the pressure of feeling like they have to have everything figured out.
00:34:34.429 --> 00:34:49.359
Charu Ramanathan: Right, and so I do think perfectionism is something that affects, disproportionately influences women than men. And one of the studies I was reading is the reason is because
00:34:49.839 --> 00:34:59.559
Charu Ramanathan: You know, women… because of the social setup to be part of this community want to fit in.
00:34:59.629 --> 00:35:00.179
Charu Ramanathan: And…
00:35:00.180 --> 00:35:17.339
Charu Ramanathan: So, and, and part of that perfectionism I read was because they, they really wanted to like, show everybody else in the community how good they were and that they were deserving of part of that community. So that's sort of the roots.
00:35:17.340 --> 00:35:36.299
Charu Ramanathan: And then it became, you know, quite, you know, reinforced by society, you know, oh, she is, you know, her house is impeccable, or, you know, she dresses so perfectly, or her, you know, her recipe is so perfect. So, you know, we hear the social things.
00:35:36.300 --> 00:35:46.089
Charu Ramanathan: that endorses males for their recklessness. Oh, he's boisterous. Oh, he's always breaking a bone or two. Or he's, you know, he climbed…
00:35:46.090 --> 00:35:55.019
Charu Ramanathan: the steak without a, you know, whatever. So, boys are praised for their bold decisions, and girls are praised for their, their risk, like, their, you know.
00:35:55.020 --> 00:36:07.840
Charu Ramanathan: perfect, you know, risk-free, you know, things that they do. And that, I think, has reinforced our need to be that way. The other part of it, which I believe, which I've sort of, in my interviews, is
00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:10.659
Charu Ramanathan: A lot of women, when they…
00:36:11.140 --> 00:36:16.119
Charu Ramanathan: Don't feel in control over situations. Maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's work.
00:36:16.270 --> 00:36:27.620
Charu Ramanathan: they tend to exert extra control over the things that they can have a control over, and thereby the perfectionism. Case in point, dishwasher loading.
00:36:27.890 --> 00:36:33.939
Charu Ramanathan: Do you know how many women reload their dishwasher because it's just not done perfectly?
00:36:34.140 --> 00:36:34.670
Rachael Sampson: Oh my god.
00:36:34.670 --> 00:36:35.080
Charu Ramanathan: Okay.
00:36:35.080 --> 00:36:36.800
Rachael Sampson: That's my husband in my house.
00:36:37.320 --> 00:36:38.410
Charu Ramanathan: Like, doesn't matter.
00:36:38.410 --> 00:36:39.290
Rachael Sampson: Put in there.
00:36:39.540 --> 00:36:45.449
Charu Ramanathan: Yeah, so I what I will tell you is that, let's say you load your dishwasher once a day, and it takes.
00:36:45.450 --> 00:36:45.990
Rachael Sampson: Okay.
00:36:46.270 --> 00:36:47.340
Charu Ramanathan: Let's say…
00:36:47.800 --> 00:37:00.680
Charu Ramanathan: 10 minutes to do it, right? That's 3,650 minutes of dishwasher time. That translates to nothing but clean dishes that'll go back into the dishwasher the next day.
00:37:00.980 --> 00:37:04.469
Charu Ramanathan: So, put that in perspective. Is your perfectionism
00:37:04.740 --> 00:37:11.300
Charu Ramanathan: rightly placed, or mis-targeted, because it's not translating to moving your life forward.
00:37:11.750 --> 00:37:19.210
Rachael Sampson: That is so interesting to think about it that way because I'm one of those crazy people that kind of pre-washes the dishes before I put them in the dishwasher.
00:37:19.350 --> 00:37:22.489
Rachael Sampson: Hopefully I'm not alone. But yes, I didn't.
00:37:22.490 --> 00:37:26.270
Charu Ramanathan: What's the worst that could happen? Run it again. So.
00:37:26.640 --> 00:37:31.610
Charu Ramanathan: So this is really important, is the so what? Ask yourself the so what question.
00:37:31.980 --> 00:37:32.920
Charu Ramanathan: So what?
00:37:33.180 --> 00:37:38.319
Charu Ramanathan: So what? My house is a little messy. So what? My dishwasher is a… Yeah, okay.
00:37:38.670 --> 00:37:39.470
Charu Ramanathan: Yep.
00:37:39.630 --> 00:37:40.490
Charu Ramanathan: So…
00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:48.749
Charu Ramanathan: We have to work on that. I know, I know, it's… I mean, I make it sound like I'm doing it all the time. Well, I am…
00:37:49.070 --> 00:37:58.590
Charu Ramanathan: absolutely a culprit in all this. So, so let, let, let's, I, I have, I think, do we have, how are we doing on time? Are we good?
00:37:59.140 --> 00:38:04.440
Rachael Sampson: Yes, we're at 38. So we've got about 20 min, and we've got a couple questions. So
00:38:04.590 --> 00:38:05.349
Rachael Sampson: We've got a.
00:38:05.350 --> 00:38:12.439
Charu Ramanathan: Okay, so the first aspect of it is this ladder. This ladder is very founded in…
00:38:12.440 --> 00:38:37.220
Charu Ramanathan: It's, it's a very abstracted version that I just created, using Claude is, you know, the green is where you're supposed to be socially engaging your, you know, your, your, sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous or a nervous system are in balance, you feel good, and then something happens that puts you on alert, you know, maybe it's a fight with a colleague or a relationship issue, and then you start to go down that ladder.
00:38:37.220 --> 00:38:55.399
Charu Ramanathan: And it's really important that you understand from your own behaviors where you are in that ladder, because the lower you are, the harder it is to climb back up. And that was sort of the cycle that we discussed early. So one of the key things, you know, joining that with the fact that we're hormonal creatures.
00:38:55.520 --> 00:38:56.740
Charu Ramanathan: Reset.
00:38:56.890 --> 00:38:58.840
Charu Ramanathan: Is not a reward.
00:38:58.970 --> 00:39:00.200
Charu Ramanathan: for women.
00:39:00.290 --> 00:39:01.769
Charu Ramanathan: It is…
00:39:01.850 --> 00:39:16.630
Charu Ramanathan: a basic need. And I don't call it self-care, because I hate the word self-care, because it's, like, selfish, self-centered, you know, self-serving, self-care. No. It's… it's my need. This is what I need to do. Mom needs to go and…
00:39:16.630 --> 00:39:29.160
Charu Ramanathan: you know, go away and be by herself, and that's okay. And, and, and so, and I think you, you really have to look at these resets in three different categories. First one is daily.
00:39:29.170 --> 00:39:40.470
Charu Ramanathan: Breaks, breathing, meditation, walking, whatever it is, sequester 10 to 15 minutes at a minimum of time to go to what you need to do to be by yourself and, you know, reflect.
00:39:40.650 --> 00:39:57.929
Charu Ramanathan: Second thing is deeper, taking a day off, spending time in nature, and never ever compromise on sleep. Of all the things that I've noticed, studies say that, and I've noticed this in myself, sleep… losing sleep is the worst offender in terms of you spiraling down the ladder.
00:39:58.670 --> 00:40:18.539
Charu Ramanathan: And mindset, you know, going back to the whole perfectionism thing is always ask yourself, if I don't do this, what's the worst that could happen? Will this matter in a year? The so what? You know, I give myself permission to rest. Like if I skip today and it doesn't get done, so what? In the grand scheme of things, does that take me from my purpose or my track?
00:40:18.700 --> 00:40:37.600
Charu Ramanathan: Fine, this is good enough. So the ability to break out of that perfectionism mindset can be helpful. And then the bottom point is sort of the biological scientific method by which you can really work to reset your point of slow breathing, movement, connection, hugging, you know, you know.
00:40:37.600 --> 00:40:42.160
Charu Ramanathan: things that you know, like the neck massages, etc, which
00:40:42.660 --> 00:40:53.040
Charu Ramanathan: There's a whole science behind that as well, to be able to switch your body, at least temporarily, so it has… your brain has room to start saying, well, calm down, there's no danger here.
00:40:54.650 --> 00:40:55.910
Rachael Sampson: Yes, and sleeping, I know.
00:40:55.910 --> 00:40:56.230
Charu Ramanathan: Anytime.
00:40:56.230 --> 00:41:15.550
Rachael Sampson: a little bit about that. I know I've noticed because I've got a wearable as well. When I use my Better Sleep app and I use the breathing exercises, especially because I'm on the road a decent amount of time and in hotels, so it's hard to get to sleep and stay asleep depending on which coach you're on.
00:41:15.550 --> 00:41:22.410
Rachael Sampson: But yes, that tossing and turning and sleeping at night, can you talk a little bit more about the breathing meditation and kind of how that helps?
00:41:23.660 --> 00:41:38.490
Charu Ramanathan: So yes, and so that is, you know, so one of the key things is shutting down your brain, you know, an hour, at least an hour before bedtime because, you know, there's a, the screen times, you know, we are stimulated a lot, so that really helps.
00:41:38.490 --> 00:41:54.019
Charu Ramanathan: And then, you know, some people do, like, little tea, like a ritual, because the ritual… your brain is very good at getting trained, right? So the ritual really tells the brain, let's stop thinking about work and all the hundred different things, and really start to reset.
00:41:54.040 --> 00:42:07.440
Charu Ramanathan: You know, bedtime environments, that's a big deal for some people, like aromatherapy, like candles or music, lighting, all of those things help.
00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:14.229
Charu Ramanathan: And, and really, the biggest thing that affects people's sleep, other than your own thoughts.
00:42:14.230 --> 00:42:32.959
Charu Ramanathan: Is devices is is like constantly being on your devices that really rewires the brain as well and I think that's a huge influence of sleep in in in today's times and so that that I think is is really important you know as well.
00:42:33.640 --> 00:42:34.820
Rachael Sampson: That's great.
00:42:34.950 --> 00:42:36.490
Rachael Sampson: Alright, navigate!
00:42:37.410 --> 00:42:41.460
Charu Ramanathan: We talked to… did we talk about downside, the small stuff?
00:42:41.710 --> 00:42:44.080
Rachael Sampson: Yes, we're gonna go with the flow. So what?
00:42:44.080 --> 00:42:51.260
Charu Ramanathan: Go with the flow. Yes, progress, not perfection. The other thing, also, again, a common thing is,
00:42:51.440 --> 00:43:03.640
Charu Ramanathan: communicate before it blows up, and you know, like, this is a common example in management textbooks, you know, you have a meeting, everybody throws their opinions, women are consensus builders.
00:43:03.730 --> 00:43:19.129
Charu Ramanathan: You know, you don't really share it, or something bad happens, and you don't want to share it, whereas men argue with each other, and they have huge fights, like, ready that they're gonna kill each other, and at the end of the meeting, they all go have a beer like nothing ever happened, whereas the women sort of, like.
00:43:19.260 --> 00:43:27.389
Charu Ramanathan: kind of, how… why… how can you do this to me? Or, you know, seething inside. So, I think those are habits that you have to actively…
00:43:27.580 --> 00:43:36.729
Charu Ramanathan: because even in a relationship that doesn't work very well. I know it's a little hard to say something like it's on your, you know.
00:43:36.790 --> 00:43:48.889
Charu Ramanathan: But you don't have to be rude, but state it like it is before it blows up, because once it starts forming in your mind, and your brain starts processing it, and your hormones start to say, how did they do this to me? It starts becoming from
00:43:49.200 --> 00:44:00.089
Charu Ramanathan: this incident to something bigger than that, and then you kind of lose objectivity. So that, I would say, is something we have to actively work at, is to be able to release
00:44:00.530 --> 00:44:04.729
Charu Ramanathan: you know, things that don't serve you, or hey, I don't, like…
00:44:05.020 --> 00:44:07.320
Charu Ramanathan: That was really rude. I got hurt.
00:44:07.430 --> 00:44:17.559
Charu Ramanathan: I always say, instead of saying, you did this, you can say, it made me feel this way. And that's a great way to, you know, kind of lower the barrier for confrontation.
00:44:18.600 --> 00:44:21.749
Charu Ramanathan: Prioritize, delegate, another one of my favorites.
00:44:21.880 --> 00:44:26.840
Charu Ramanathan: Don't complain nobody helps you when you really don't delegate it.
00:44:27.420 --> 00:44:29.500
Charu Ramanathan: If you think only you can…
00:44:29.500 --> 00:44:32.540
Rachael Sampson: do it the same way that we do it, so.
00:44:32.540 --> 00:44:34.530
Charu Ramanathan: Exactly. There's that.
00:44:34.710 --> 00:44:55.329
Charu Ramanathan: So one of the things early on in our relationship, with my husband, you know, he, two things he said to me is I, I basically told him, well, you don't get any of this right. Like, you know, this is how you're supposed to do it. And, you know, something, I forget exactly what it was. And then he basically said, well, if you want me to do it, I'm gonna do it my way.
00:44:55.460 --> 00:45:20.179
Charu Ramanathan: So that was my first time I was like, well, if he told me how to do things, I'm not gonna like it either. Because that's what he does. It's like, oh, this is how you, you know, fix this or, you know, something that he's passionate about. And I, I'd be like, well, I'm an engineer too. Don't tell me what to do. Right? So I don't like it either. So it's really important that when you delegate, you've gotta give some freedom, just like you do to someone, a coworker, an employee, you know, someone that works with you.
00:45:21.180 --> 00:45:28.929
Charu Ramanathan: significant other or other people that live in your household the same leeway to be able to do that. The other part of it is also,
00:45:28.960 --> 00:45:32.710
Charu Ramanathan: You never know where new ideas come from.
00:45:32.710 --> 00:45:55.679
Charu Ramanathan: So don't think that only your ideas is the best idea. And that's a lot to carry too, because when you do that, and this is something my daughter constantly tells me, like, if I don't do it, nobody else does it. And I, I kind of see that. So from a parent standpoint, it's really important not to assume that somebody will pick it up or I'll pick it up is to, is, is where the delegation is important. So if I'm in charge of a task.
00:45:55.710 --> 00:46:09.659
Charu Ramanathan: Like, let's say I make dinner at our houses, at my house. It's really important for me to say, well, you're going to make this, you're going to make this, and you're going to make this, you know, rather than, you know, runtime delegation, which is a lot of yelling usually.
00:46:09.990 --> 00:46:27.530
Rachael Sampson: And I think that's so important to your point that I'd just like to go back to and underscore whether you're an aspiring leader, are a leader or an entrepreneur, that delegation and to your point around new ideas can be so critical and like where to invest and how you're growing someone else.
00:46:27.530 --> 00:46:32.239
Rachael Sampson: By giving them an opportunity to do more, to learn more, and to your point, like.
00:46:32.240 --> 00:46:43.129
Rachael Sampson: a lot of good could come out of it as well. So I think that is so important to do, because those fresh ideas can definitely probably help propel you over the long run, and
00:46:43.290 --> 00:46:46.180
Rachael Sampson: Take some things off your plate so you can go with the flow.
00:46:46.770 --> 00:46:48.650
Charu Ramanathan: Yes, exactly.
00:46:48.650 --> 00:46:49.229
Rachael Sampson: I love that.
00:46:49.230 --> 00:47:03.239
Charu Ramanathan: Okay, so this, I'll go quickly, is protecting your mind. And this is something, you know, again, another example. When my daughter was in high school, she had a friend that was very
00:47:04.960 --> 00:47:14.909
Charu Ramanathan: toxic, for lack of a better word. You know, and I would see her… my daughter's mood swing based on that friend's behaviors.
00:47:15.040 --> 00:47:32.809
Charu Ramanathan: Et cetera, the friend was going through a lot of challenges there, definitely empathetic to that, but you really start to see that at some point you have to draw those boundaries because anxiety does beget anxiety. There are many studies around it, people pick up the energy.
00:47:32.930 --> 00:47:44.919
Charu Ramanathan: And then judgment begets judgment. If you are going to be… oh, there's a spelling mistake here. If you're going to be in a, in a group that constantly judges other people, badmouths them.
00:47:44.920 --> 00:47:55.129
Charu Ramanathan: you know, you tend to build on those insecurities and start to do that yourself, which is never a good habit. And so you have to watch the company you keep.
00:47:55.130 --> 00:48:07.780
Charu Ramanathan: Never take criticism from someone you wouldn't seek advice from. This is really, really important. That's such a good point. Yes. And, you know, coming from the Indian community, I can vouch there's a lot of opinions.
00:48:09.190 --> 00:48:12.579
Rachael Sampson: I love that. I love that thing. That's like, don't let something.
00:48:12.710 --> 00:48:19.509
Rachael Sampson: Like… in your head go to your heart, or whatever, of just taking that criticism? Yes, absolutely.
00:48:24.060 --> 00:48:25.740
Rachael Sampson: Did we lose Sharu?
00:48:33.750 --> 00:48:35.139
Rachael Sampson: Or did we lose me?
00:48:36.330 --> 00:48:38.330
Vanity Bryant: No, it's Sharu. She froze.
00:48:38.960 --> 00:48:39.510
Rachael Sampson: Okay.
00:48:39.910 --> 00:48:40.550
Charu Ramanathan: Hear me now.
00:48:41.220 --> 00:48:42.750
Rachael Sampson: Yes, we can.
00:48:42.750 --> 00:48:46.340
Charu Ramanathan: Okay, some some problem with my Internet. Let me
00:48:47.810 --> 00:49:06.669
Charu Ramanathan: So the next one is be kind to yourself. This is, this is a lot of questions that came in today was around this theme. You know, I always use the analogy here, we've heard this multiple times, is in an airplane, they always ask you to put your oxygen mask first before helping anybody else, because if you pass out, you're not helping.
00:49:06.990 --> 00:49:15.179
Charu Ramanathan: It's extremely important that you know, like you treat yourself with grace versus really drive with guilt.
00:49:15.220 --> 00:49:28.700
Charu Ramanathan: Because you're not going to be good for anybody. And beware of that hero syndrome. I can do this, I will do this, because you will burn out quickly, and once you burn out, you're going to be down in that ladder, and somebody needs to get you out.
00:49:28.700 --> 00:49:39.930
Charu Ramanathan: from there. And the other part of it, I had this conversation with my mother this morning, where she said, like, all my life, I thought, this is my duty, and doing my duty was my purpose.
00:49:39.940 --> 00:49:53.880
Charu Ramanathan: And I realized that there's a bifurcation there. What you believe is your duty, like day to day, I've got to do this, I've got to take care of my mom, I've got to take care of my kids, I've got to do this job, may not necessarily translate to your purpose.
00:49:53.880 --> 00:50:00.390
Charu Ramanathan: And sometimes it can erroneously feel like I'm doing so much for everyone. Why don't I feel happy?
00:50:00.400 --> 00:50:11.369
Charu Ramanathan: And so, this is really important that you separate the two. Like, your purpose for living and your North Star can be completely different than what life demands of you, and that's okay.
00:50:11.630 --> 00:50:24.500
Charu Ramanathan: And if you're able to be comfortable about that gap, be kind to yourself as you try to find the freedom in your life to get to the purpose that you need to live. Take your time and give yourself the grace of that.
00:50:24.660 --> 00:50:33.530
Charu Ramanathan: and then always give help and get help like we are community animals like, don't try to be Atlas children. This whole thing on your on your shoulders.
00:50:33.640 --> 00:50:37.830
Charu Ramanathan: You know, The outcomes for that is not so good.
00:50:38.910 --> 00:50:39.640
Charu Ramanathan: So…
00:50:39.640 --> 00:50:40.360
Rachael Sampson: Yes.
00:50:41.170 --> 00:50:45.779
Rachael Sampson: For sure. Well, we've got about nine minutes, Sharu, as we.
00:50:45.780 --> 00:50:46.100
Charu Ramanathan: Okay.
00:50:46.100 --> 00:50:46.760
Rachael Sampson: Goodbye.
00:50:47.190 --> 00:50:55.829
Rachael Sampson: moving through in the E, How would you think around minding your daily values and emerging unapologetically?
00:50:57.160 --> 00:51:08.230
Charu Ramanathan: So, so this is… so this is very quickly about, you know, vitamins and supplementation. It's really important if your body is deficient in things that could, you know, result in
00:51:08.230 --> 00:51:21.059
Charu Ramanathan: Mental challenges and stress. It's really important every day what you tell yourself. This is sort of a little pun here. Daily value for vitamins and daily values as in the value system. You, you know, every day in the morning.
00:51:21.100 --> 00:51:22.710
Charu Ramanathan: Think about your purpose.
00:51:22.780 --> 00:51:26.550
Charu Ramanathan: Introspect, look in the mirror, reflect, check in mindfully.
00:51:26.770 --> 00:51:28.550
Charu Ramanathan: Like, I'm awesome, right?
00:51:28.580 --> 00:51:41.669
Charu Ramanathan: Like, I'm great. Like, make sure that… or else you could say, hmm, I could have handled that a little differently. So, introspection's very important. Don't be shy to even look at the deepest, darkest things that you don't want to look at yourself for.
00:51:41.670 --> 00:51:49.139
Charu Ramanathan: Gratitude, name the one specific thing that you're thankful for right now, that's really important. And optimism, it's like…
00:51:49.140 --> 00:51:57.980
Charu Ramanathan: It is so contagious, so it's really important. And then for others, be patient, you know, make sure you're viewing it from their shoes without judgment.
00:51:58.100 --> 00:52:11.289
Charu Ramanathan: Give the same grace to others as you would give yourself, and boundaries. No is a complete sentence, so don't take on things when you don't have capacity because you feel obligated, because you're gonna run down that ladder pretty quickly.
00:52:11.290 --> 00:52:24.110
Charu Ramanathan: So no is okay. Hey, can I take a rain check? Can I do this later? You know, so, and the other syndrome is yes, yes, yes, yes. Take on too much and then you're like gonna, you know, drown in it. So it's okay for you to draw some boundaries.
00:52:25.120 --> 00:52:31.260
Charu Ramanathan: Connections, we talked about it. That's what we're here today, making connections and helping each other. Absolutely.
00:52:31.260 --> 00:52:31.650
Rachael Sampson: Absolutely.
00:52:31.650 --> 00:52:38.879
Charu Ramanathan: And a very long-term 80-year-old study from Harvard on happiness basically showed that the first two reasons.
00:52:38.980 --> 00:52:52.069
Charu Ramanathan: For happiness, the strongest predictors are, one is deep connections, and second one are casual connections. So when you chit-chat with your mailman, hey, how's it going? You know, those are important for happiness as well.
00:52:52.700 --> 00:53:09.059
Charu Ramanathan: Lastly, emerging unapologetically is, you know, own your own, both your wins and your fails. Like, Hey, I, I screwed up, you know, I'll do better next time. Don't feel like you are, you have this pedestal that you've placed yourself on that you can't fall.
00:53:09.170 --> 00:53:18.059
Charu Ramanathan: Fall off it. Just pick yourself up. Like, own your wins and your fails. This is one area I feel women tend to be way more critical of themselves when they fail.
00:53:18.080 --> 00:53:36.940
Charu Ramanathan: Move on. That's really, really important. The other part of it also, and I can say that especially as a young brown woman at the time, entrepreneur, that was my trifecta, you know, I really tried to be a middle-aged white CEO. Couldn't do it.
00:53:37.330 --> 00:53:52.179
Charu Ramanathan: For many reasons, you know? So, it's really important that, you're the best at being yourself, so bring it. Like, you know your hormones, you know your moods, you know who you are, you know your social and your traditional upbringing. So, you know.
00:53:52.880 --> 00:53:54.759
Charu Ramanathan: There's only one of you, so just…
00:53:55.190 --> 00:53:57.559
Charu Ramanathan: Just be yourself, you know, that's sort of…
00:53:57.730 --> 00:54:02.550
Charu Ramanathan: The big message that I want to say is, look at yourself in the mirror and say, Yeah, this is me.
00:54:03.360 --> 00:54:05.389
Charu Ramanathan: And, and, and it'll be okay.
00:54:06.890 --> 00:54:26.560
Rachael Sampson: I love that. I've gotten that advice over time. And yes, it's some of the best advice I could have ever received. I remember years ago when I took on Key for Women and our predecessor, Barb Smith, she was fantastic. And I realized that I can't be her, that I have to be me, and hopefully that is good enough.
00:54:27.820 --> 00:54:28.370
Charu Ramanathan: Yes.
00:54:29.540 --> 00:54:30.570
Charu Ramanathan: Well said.
00:54:32.560 --> 00:54:35.400
Charu Ramanathan: So, do we… what do we do? Do we go over questions, or…
00:54:35.400 --> 00:54:38.139
Rachael Sampson: I know, quickly, I know Vanity has a…
00:54:38.290 --> 00:54:40.540
Rachael Sampson: slide to share as well. As I mentioned.
00:54:40.540 --> 00:54:40.910
Charu Ramanathan: Okay.
00:54:40.910 --> 00:54:57.989
Rachael Sampson: the chat, the power of connections is critically important, which is why we always ask you all to be active in the chat so that you can connect with people across the country, in your local area, signing up for K for Women, to have that community so that we can thrive together.
00:54:57.990 --> 00:55:04.219
Rachael Sampson: I think all of you who have participated in this program, hopefully you have walked away with some great advice.
00:55:04.220 --> 00:55:23.630
Rachael Sampson: from Cheru that we've had that we can put into practice every single day. We did get a couple more questions that I'd like to get to in the chat. I think we might have one. Oh, this is a really good one that came in. How can leaders create environments where conversations about mental health feel safe, authentic, and stigma free?
00:55:25.410 --> 00:55:34.069
Charu Ramanathan: So that's a great question, and I think one of the is trying to look for some studies of you know where
00:55:34.820 --> 00:55:49.459
Charu Ramanathan: So EY did an authentic mental health program, which was very successful. And one of the things that they did differently was they had leaders in the organization authentically share their stories.
00:55:49.530 --> 00:56:03.060
Charu Ramanathan: And their struggles themselves. It's one of the things that I found in the workplace that people won't engage, because it's such a sensitive topic, is when there's no authenticity, and that they feel that the organization
00:56:03.060 --> 00:56:14.860
Charu Ramanathan: It's promoting, you know, high performance and all the pressures that come with it, and then they're throwing in mental health as a, hey, oh, by the way, we need you to be mentally strong so you can be more productive.
00:56:14.860 --> 00:56:21.009
Charu Ramanathan: And so it's really important that mental health is something that is an investment in the person.
00:56:21.310 --> 00:56:33.569
Charu Ramanathan: And regardless of, you know, their performance, and that, you know, the leaders and peers are bringing in their authentic stories, so that people feel like
00:56:33.590 --> 00:56:48.219
Charu Ramanathan: they can share it, and and the company actually means it. So I feel like authenticity is oftentimes missing in these mental health programs, which seems very difficult to engage because of all the stigma and all those things.
00:56:49.370 --> 00:56:56.140
Rachael Sampson: Yes, and I think that is so important as we think about that everyone has a journey, right, is all of us.
00:56:56.450 --> 00:57:08.520
Rachael Sampson: every one circumstance is unique, our families are unique, our personalities are unique, and I think the more, to your point, that we openly talk about mental health, the challenges, the stress.
00:57:08.520 --> 00:57:22.129
Rachael Sampson: you know, we often joke about it, but also very seriously, you know, if we are carrying those heavy loads to know that there are resources out there. It is an investment that will pay you back tenfold to ensure that you are leveraging
00:57:22.130 --> 00:57:34.030
Rachael Sampson: some of these tools, reading, going to see a therapist, some of those other things. I know here at Key, we're very lucky to have an EAP program, but I definitely encourage everyone to reach out.
00:57:34.330 --> 00:57:53.460
Rachael Sampson: To even talk to someone, you know, we shouldn't have a stigma and that no one should feel alone. There's too many people on this planet for us to ever feel that way, so I thank you so much for being here. You know, your wisdom, personal journey, the practical tools, helping us better understand ourselves and unique challenges that many of us face.
00:57:53.570 --> 00:58:09.569
Rachael Sampson: you know, today reminded us that mental health and well-being is not a luxury, it's a necessity, and foundational to how we lead, show up for others, and make decisions. So, I hope all of you leave today with that greater sense of self-awareness, self-compassion, self-love.
00:58:09.570 --> 00:58:18.549
Rachael Sampson: and be just as nice to yourself as you are to other people and strangers. So, as Sharu said, that better understanding of biology shaping us and
00:58:18.570 --> 00:58:21.070
Rachael Sampson: Have navigating life's challenges.
00:58:21.440 --> 00:58:36.310
Rachael Sampson: can be difficult, but we do need to continue to make it a priority. So, with that, I'm going to say thank you for joining us. I hope you have a wonderful afternoon, but Sharu, don't go away. I'm going to give you parting thoughts, but I appreciate all of you, your time, attention, and attendance today.
Join Key4Women National Director Rachael Sampson and Dr. Charu Ramanathan for a powerful conversation as Dr. Ramanathan draws from her experiences as a scientist, entrepreneur, CEO, and mother.
She combines her personal journey with a deep understanding of evolutionary biology to provide practical tools and insights that help women, and anyone who relates to this experience, better understand their biology, embrace their full-selves, and show up authentically and unapologetically.
Key Takeaways
Walk away with a roadmap to truly feel F.I.N.E.:
- F - Feel your biology: Understand the science of being female
- I - Identify the invisible: Understand the specific circumstances that have shaped your beliefs
- N - Navigate your biology, roles and expectations: Learn simple, science-backed strategies that build on your strengths
- E - Emerge unapologetically: Step forward boldly, grounded in your worth and unapologetic in your power
Let's Work Together to Achieve Your Goals
For more Key4Women resources to help you reach your goals, visit key.com/women or email us to learn more.
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